Love is universal. We feel it and see it. Love, in a sense, is what makes the world go round. However, the ways of emotional communication can vary significantly from person to person. It is said that five unique “love languages” exist and make up the means of unspeakable connections between two people. They are the underlying reasons behind the “chemistry” or “sparks” that hold relationships together like binding glue. Love is not a trend. Rather, it is a basic human necessity for survival.
Here’s a quick overview of the five languages of love and how you can use this knowledge in your own relationship.
Words of Affirmation
Everybody loves a nice compliment. But for people whose actions speak this language, it means the world for them to be called beautiful or handsome. Whether that means getting dressed up to be noticed for stellar looks, or simply being noticed for a dazzling smile, words of affirmation are the reason why these people light up when being exposed to flattery. A simple “You look beautiful today” can make the difference between a good day and a great one.
Acts of Service
Washing the dishes, doing the laundry, mowing the lawn — the list goes on and on for daily household chores that please the people who speak affection through cleaning and doing. They have a common mantra of “actions speak louder than words,” and swoon when their significant other helps out around the house. Down-to-earth and practical, they work with their partner to get the job done — one dish, one shirt, one square meter at a time.
This language comes in the form of cards, flowers, jewelry, chocolates, gift cards — any and all material goods. Individuals who communicate through receiving these items adore being showered with boxes and boxes of beautifully wrapped gifts. Ideas over value, they always believe it’s the thought that counts. Receiving a thoughtful gift will make them feel that their partner truly loves and understands them. Holidays and birthdays are the ideal time to surprise these folks with carefully picked sentimental presents to compliment the celebratory mood!
Arguably the most popular form of expressing love, touch is ubiquitous for warmth, closeness, and intimacy. Hugs, kisses, and cuddling exist because it makes these people feel safe and appreciated. After a tough, long day of work, those who feel the most love through touch only want to come home to one thing: their lover’s arms. Like a safe haven, it allows for a moment of bliss and escape from reality, to find comfort in closeness. It is crucial to ensure quiet moments of physical support for these individuals to thrive.
Time is precious, and people with this love language know it all too well. Whether it be spending the day at the fair, strolling through the park, or exploring the city, the very act of spending one’s minutes with their loved one fills up their heart with overflowing joy. A stroll through the park, an adventure exploring the city, a visit to the new restaurant — it’s all about the journey, growing, developing, and building one another up.
For most people, we use a combination of two to three, or even all of these emotional languages, to express our affection for our significant someone. There is no “better” or “worse” love language, because that’s what makes us all unique. When you’ve decoded your lover’s language, it’s easier to convey those thoughts that hit the feelings in the right place. Every person wants to be loved, but not all people need to be loved in the same way.